I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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