you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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