No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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