Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
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She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
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He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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