There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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