I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize