Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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