i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize