I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize