I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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