Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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