Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
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I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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