Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
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I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
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Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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