My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize