I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize