for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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