Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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