is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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