Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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