How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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