It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Help me help you realize you are a moron
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize