Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize