The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize