I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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