her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
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we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
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What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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