she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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