i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize