Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize