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i permit you to call me
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
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