First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize