don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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