We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
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We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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