My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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