Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize