I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize