Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never too late to be topless.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize