420 ftw
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
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I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
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So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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