he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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