So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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