I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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