Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
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HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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