you mean i was at the winter classic?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize