I don't usually arrange sex via text message
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
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I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
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I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just want to make out with him forever
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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