so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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