i already hear my dad disowning me
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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