she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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