i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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