Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize