so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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