summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
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No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
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If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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